Part II: Alignment: Judger/Learner

There was a reason the blog signed off with a video about the book: Change your Questions, Change your life.    The first question in the next set of questions from Martha Beck is listed below.  If we focus too much on what is wrong, instead of looking towards what is right, or what could be better one can fall victim to aligning yourself and attaching negative experiences.   This traps us.

On October 27th, mygapyear has created a forum to help open two groups to question their relationships, conversations and how they align themselves with a changing world.  Young Men Finding Direction is a collaborative event hosted by mygapyear in partnership with several men who can relate to questioning being a man growing up in the 21st century.  We invite families and their sons to come and explore this question.

In the meantime, laugh and live into these questions.  

11. Where am I wrong?
This might well be the most powerful question on our list—as Socrates believed, we gain our first measure of intelligence when we first admit our own ignorance. Your ego wants you to avoid noticing where you may have bad information or unworkable ideas. But you'll gain far more capability and respect by asking where you're wrong than by insisting you're right.

12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
I once read a story about a world where people sold memories the way we can sell plasma. The protagonist was an addict who'd pawned many memories for drugs but had sworn never to sell his memory of falling in love. His addiction won. Afterward he was unaware of his loss, lacking the memory he'd sold. But for the reader, the trade-off was ghastly to contemplate. Every time you choose social acceptance over your heart's desires, or financial gain over ethics, or your comfort zone over the adventure you were born to experience, you're making a similar deal. Don't.

13. Am I the only one struggling not to {fart} during {yoga}?
I felt profoundly liberated when this issue was raised on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update." Not everyone does yoga, but SNL reminded me that everyone dreads committing some sort of gaffe. Substitute your greatest shame-fear: crying at work, belching in church, throwing up on the prime minister of Japan. Then know you aren't alone. Everyone worries about such faux pas, and many have committed them (well, maybe not the throwing up on PMs). Accepting this is a bold step toward mental health and a just society.

14. What do I love to practice?
Some psychologists believe that no one is born with any particular talent and that all skill is gained through practice. Studies have shown that masters are simply people who've practiced a skill intensely for 10,000 hours or more. That requires loving—not liking, loving—what you do. If you really want to excel, go where you're passionate enough to practice.

15. Where could I work less and achieve more?
To maximize time spent practicing your passions, minimize everything else. These days you can find machines or human helpers to assist with almost anything. Author Timothy Ferriss "batches" job tasks into his famous "four-hour workweek." My client Cindy has an e-mail ghostwriter. Another client, Angela, hired an assistant in the Philippines who flawlessly tracks her schedule and her investments. Get creative with available resources to find more time in your life and life in your time.

16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?
Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can't. Life is inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this.

17. Where should I break the rules?
If everyone kept all the rules, we'd still be practicing cherished traditions like child marriage, slavery, and public hangings. The way humans become humane is by assessing from the heart, rather than the rule book, where the justice of a situation lies. Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the rules within you.

18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full staff of servants...then what?
We can get so obsessed with acquiring fabulous lives that we forget to live. When my clients ask themselves this question, they almost always discover that their "perfect life" pastimes are already available. Sharing joy with loved ones, spending time in nature, finding inner peace, writing your novel, plotting revenge—you can do all these things right now. Begin!

19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can endanger your happiness. Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your circumstances creates suffering. Telling yourself a more positive and grateful story, studies show, increases happiness. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together, rather than tear it apart.

20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?
It's been several seconds since you asked this. Ask it again. Not to make yourself petulant or frustrated—just to see if it's possible to choose anything, and I mean any little thing, that would make your present experience more delightful. Thus continues the revolution.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Becks-20-Questions-That-Could-Change-Your-Life_1/3#ixzz27m8mvqKq

Where's the money? How to pay for a gap year!

5 ways to pay for your gap year
from skyscanner.net

Thousands of young people got their A Level results recently, but thanks to high tuition fees and few job opportunities, it’s no surprise that so many are opting to taking gap years and have fun while they can.

Common choices for working abroad include teaching English, fruit-picking in Australia and working a ski season as a chalet girl, but why not do something that stands out on your CV, and that you can brag about to your new mates at uni? Skyscanner presents five ways to pay your way round the world.

1. Travel writing and photography

Got a way with words? Write about your adventures and pitch your work to magazines to earn up to £300 per article. Or start a travel blog. Know your ISO from your aperture? Sell your snaps to travel titles or image banks like istock.com. Good with video? Set up a YouTube channel. It may not pay straight away, but you could be a star - like Matt Harding!

2. Sing for your supper

Can you play guitar, violin, or the bagpipes? Then play your way around the world like violinist David Juriz who funded an entire world trip by busking Bach from Berlin to Sydney. Juriz averaged £83 per day, but you can earn up to £2,500 in an hour in London, especially in prime spots like Covent Garden. Do check licensing laws and follow busking etiquette before tuning up.

3. Sail away

Working on a yacht isn’t always glamorous. You could be serving martinis to models off Martinique, but usually it’s hard work with long hours. You’ll certainly get a good tan, maybe travel the world and earn up to £3,000 a month. Check sites like Crewseekers International for vacancies from steward to skipper, with jobs currently on offer in the Med, the Azores and the Caribbean.

4. Plant trees

Prince George in British Colombia, Canada is the world’s ‘tree planters’ capital’, where forestry companies need people to plant seedlings. It’s tough, and you’ll be stationed in the middle of nowhere for weeks, but it pays well. Check Tree Planter for info. Veteran tree planters can bag up to £200 a day (though £75 is a more realistic figure). You’ll need a visa to work in Canada – not a problem if you’re under 35.

5. Just get a visa and go!

You’re young, you’re free, so live a little! It’s possible to get working holiday visas for many countries of the world, including Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan. A visa enables you to take on casual work or longer term employment, as long as you don’t overstay your time limit. Favourite paycations include grape picking, working in youth hostels and bar work.

Original Source: http://www.skyscanner.net/news/articles/2012/08/013358-5-ways-to-pay-for-your-gap-year.html