Get OUT! ......of your comfort zone!

Have you heard this phrase: life begins at the end of your comfort zone.   April 10th was the 100th day of year the year.  Did you have resolutions?  Dreams, ideas or plans for 2013? It is never too late to pick them back up, dust those ideas off and get started again.

At mygapyear, we often work with individuals who are the most traditional (if there really is one) age for a gapper: right after high school.   We use EQ to facilitate conversations about emotional intelligence.   As we know, emotional intelligence helps us tap into personality traits, emotions and behaviours that we demonstrate always, often, sometimes or never.    In our program we create goals and experiences to assist our gappers in attaining further success in these areas.

As we continue to get to know ourselves, it can be easy to fall into the trap of our comfort zones.   Are you too comfortable? Is life passing you by, just a little? Are you feeling uninspired, dull around the edges, bored, wanting more? You may be stuck in your comfort zone…

What if we are NOT successful?   What if we ARE successful?   Before we get in our way, we have to get out of the way to ensure that we continue to grow and experience all that life, commuinty and the world has to offer!

To inspire you to move beyond your comfort zone.

Ring in 2013 - Resolve those Resolutions

How Can We Make Them Stick? 

Where did you ring in the New Year?  Was it on a sandy beach, at home cozy by a fire, toasting champagne in Paris or in bed sick with a cold?  Countless people toast to a New Year with a wave of celebration from Austrailia back to North America.   Annually, individuals reckon with themselves and join forces with others to adopt new habits, and bring in the new whilst kicking out the "old".

Where did this idea of making resolutions start?  In a quick review of sources, since 2000 BC, Babylonians would hold festivals and two points in the year: spring and fall equinox.    Historically, they would pay of debts and return borrowed goods.  Fast forward a few centuries, when the Romans reformed the calendar, January 1st became the day of new beginnings.  This was in honour of Janus.

Symbols of New Years are everywhere - from the sale of themed items, to the need for a new outfit and ensuring you have scheduled an unforgettable night with friends, family, and hopefully, a midnight kiss.

We call ourselves, out of tradition, to make changes in the New Year.  Most of them are, in fact, self changes or behavioural changes.  I am going to share some alternatives to the ever daunting and rarely achieved   New Year's Resolution.

4 ways to help make 'em stick!

1. Yearly Review - more exciting than it sounds! 

Start by celebrating the past year.  2012 was amazing for me - and I am sure it was full of memories, both positive and negative that have informed how you might chose to live out 2013.

Why not try a Year in Review:  From Get Busy Living: Your Year in Review:

My Tip:  Find a beautiful journal and keep it all your years in review in one spot.   Reflect each year on your highs, lessons, and things that you are grateful for.

2.  Changing the Language in your resolutions making:

 We can often say things like:  I will not going to each junk food this year.  I will not be mean to my kids.
In changing how we construct these ideas, we change how we approach the situation or goal.  Peter Gasca shares more about this in his  5 Anti-Resolutions for 2013    Try reading more this year --- a reverse to: I have to watch less TV.

3.  Picking a Theme Rather than Goals.  

This is my personal favourite.   In the past my theme has been to Live Boldy.   I picked up the idea when I started to purchase a certain line of agendas.  They each had wonderful quotes on them which help me to keep focused for that year, instead of drifting away from my silly lists of goals, and behaviour changes.

4. 1 Word and 365 Challenges

365 - take a photo, try something new or capture what you do each day.   You can do this in a journal, by opening a photo account like instagram or flickr so that your photos are housed off of your phone (in case you misplace it).   There are so many variations of this - make your own, or find something online to inspire you!


Here are my final picks.  One word & 365 challenges.   Below is a video that tells you more about how to incorporate the idea of having one word for an entire year.  Much like the quote or theme for your year, you just pick one word to live out, through and with for the year to come.   There are organizations that walk you through the process, you can find it in this video.  I haven't used a company before, and I am not sure you have to.  This guy does a great job of sharing the idea in more detail.

Share with us in the comment box what you do - or feel free to find us on Facebook and start a convo there!

Happy New Year - from mygapyear!

Up in the Air & AQ

Above is the flight patterns throughout the globe over time. Pretty interesting, no? The 
way the artist has captured them shows how truly beautiful it is that we can see the world
through flight.

Sometimes when we are up the in air, things change, we change and maybe we become different people. What happens to you when you are up the air? On an episode of Definitely Not the Opera, the team explores life Up in the Air. This podcast shares a series of stories of 
things that have happened to others while they are off the ground having adventures.

Why does this matter when talking about mygapyear?

In our work, we explore emotion intelligence. In a recent visit to Psychology Today, we 
found a self-assessment for your AQ - any guesses what that could be?

Adventure Quotient (AQ) Test

On the site you will read the following: 

77 questions, 30 min 

How adventurous are you? Thrill-seeking can come in different forms, whether it's doing a swan dive bungee jump off the Auckland Harbour Bridge in New Zealand, or trying that new exotic restaurant around the corner from work. The type of adventure you enjoy (or avoid) depends a great deal on your personality. Are you more of a planner or spontaneous? Courageous or careful? Do you have the energy level of a bee or a sloth? Find out more about your adventure personality with this test!

Examine the following statements and choose the answer option that best applies to you. There may be some questions describing situations that may not be relevant to you. In such cases, select the answer you would most likely choose if you ever found yourself in that type of situation. In order to receive the most accurate results, please answer as truthfully as possible.

After finishing the test, you will receive a Snapshot Report with an introduction, a graph and a personalized interpretation for one of your test scores. You will then have the option to purchase the full results.

Part 1: Alignment: Find the Questions First

Today's blog is part of the fourth and final blogs that relate back to the Book of Awesome.  The power of questions and questioning bring us to unique spaces, both in body and mind that help us to align our vision with our goals.  Ultimately, we see results through this process.    Let's explore some questions, both from tow insightful woman Martha Beck and Marilee Adams. 
 

20 Questions That Could Change Your Life

Finding the answers starts with posing the right questions—and Martha Beck has 20 to get you started.

By Martha Beck

 

1. What questions should I be asking myself?
At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was redundant. It isn't. Without this question, you wouldn't ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.

2. Is this what I want to be doing?
This very moment is, always, the only moment in which you can make changes. Knowing which changes are best for you comes, always, from assessing what you feel. Ask yourself many times every day if you like what you're doing. If the answer is no, start noticing what you'd prefer. Thus begins the revolution.

3. Why worry?
These two words, considered sincerely, can radically reconfigure the landscape of your mind. Worry rarely leads to positive action; it's just painful, useless fear about hypothetical events, which scuttles happiness rather than ensuring it. Some psychologists say that by focusing on gratitude, we can shut down the part of the brain that worries. It actually works!

4. Why do I like {cupcakes} more than I like {people}?
Feel free to switch out the words in brackets: You may like TV more than exercise, or bad boys more than nice guys, or burglary more than reading. Whatever the particulars, every woman has something she likes more than the somethings she's supposed to like. But forcing "virtues"—trying to like people more than cupcakes—drives us to vices that offer false freedom from oppression. Stop trying to like the things you don't like, and many vices will disappear on their own.

5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?
Your existence is already a factor in world history—now, what sort of factor do you want it to be? Maybe you know you're here to create worldwide prosperity, a beautiful family, or one really excellent bagel. If your impressions are more vague, keep asking this question. Eventually you'll glimpse clearer outlines of your destiny. Live by design, not by accident.

6. How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?
In small ways or large, your life will change the world—and in small ways or large, the world will change you. What experiences do you want to have during your brief sojourn here? Make a list. Make a vision board. Make a promise. This won't control your future, but it will shape it.

7. Are {vegans} better people?
Again, it doesn't have to be vegans; the brackets are for you to fill in. Substitute the virtue squad that makes you feel worst about yourself, the one you'll never have the discipline to join, whether it's ultra-marathoners or mothers who never raise their voices. Whatever group you're asking about, the answer to this question is no.

8. What is my body telling me?
As I often say, my mind is a two-bit whore—by which I mean that my self-justifying brain, like any self-justifying brain, will happily absorb beliefs based on biases, ego gratification, magical thinking, or just plain error. The body knows better. It's a wise, capable creature. It recoils from what's bad for us, and leans into what's good. Let it.

9. How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
I believe this question was originally posed by Lao Tzu, who also wrote, "To become learned, each day add something. To become enlightened, each day drop something." Face it: You'd be better off without some of your relationships, many of your possessions, and most of your thoughts. Chuck your chic-chick junk, chic chick. Enlightenment awaits.

10. What's so funny?
Adults tend to put this question to children in a homicidal-sounding snarl, which is probably why as you grew up, your laughter rate dropped from 400 times a day (for toddlers) to the grown-up daily average of 15. Regain your youth by laughing at every possible situation. Then, please, tell us what's funny—about everyday life, about human nature, even about pain and fear. We'll pay you anything.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Becks-20-Questions-That-Could-Change-Your-Life_1/2#ixzz27m6clUcl

Also, if you prefer to listen and learn an interview from Marilee Adams.

 

Authenticity - Emotional Intelligence

This week we are looking at authenticity.   One way to make sense of authenticity, emotional intelligence is a great tool to use to make sense of our strengths, values and what makes us unique. Unlike IQ, EQ can be learned throughout your and can contribute to an opportunity to explore your most authentic self.

According to Goleman, there are five main themes related to EQ.  They are:  
1. Self-Awareness      
2. Managing Emotions      
3. Empathy  
4. Social Skills

Why is emotional intelligence so important?  Why do we use it in our work?  Below is a video series by Daniel Goleman that speaks specifically to the importance of developing IQ in our youth.  He also writes for those in the work force and age groups.  http://danielgoleman.info/

We would like to invite young men and their families to a forum on October 27th, 2012.  We hope to see you at the forum: Young Men - Finding Direction in the Millennium.   Throughout the day we will come together to explore what it means to be a young man growing up in the 21st century.   Part of that is learning about what make us unique and what we want to share with the world, what we would like to do at school, in the workforce, as members of a community and a family.   We are really inspired by the opportunity for growth and learning that will be presented at the forum.  If you are interested in joining us, please visit the website or email us to inquiry further about the day.  We certainly hope you will join us for a day of discovering your most authentic self.

Child's Challenge

If Julia Child famous chef, author and television host was alive today she would have turned 100.  While you may not be able to picture the Julie Child, you might be able to pick out the red and white cover of her infamous cook book:  Mastering the Art of French Cooking.  Alternatively, you could be more familiar with the Julie and Julia movie and project  where we learn more about Julia through Julie, a young woman who aims to cook her way through the French Cookbook. 

There are two things that really stand out about Julia Child's life:

1. to get in the kitchen to try something new, and to share good food and the pleasures of the table
2. to remember you are never to old to try something new

Julia Child wrote, “This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook- try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun!”  Those are some great words to live by!  Now, you do not need to get on a plane and master a cuisine.  You do not even need to get on a plane.   You simply need to try something new for 30 days.  Matt Cutts shares in his TED talk how to un-stick yourself when you are feeling trapped, unmotivated and looking for a new lease in life.  Is there something you have always put on the back burner - maybe it is learning to swim, knit or to take up running again.  The TED talk is listed below.  Alternatively, should you wish to watch something a bit more lighthearted you might like to watch Julie and Julia to celebrate century since Child's birth.

So, get out there:  try something new for 30 days.  Capture the learning in a blog, like Julie -you maybe utterly surprised where life takes you, just like Julia Child.  

Bon Appetit! 

Harnessing the Power of EQ in Youth!

There is a good chance that you have come across the term Emotional Intelligence, or EQ as it is often referred to, some point during the past decade. In fact, the last book I was reading on EQ starts off simply stating that “By now, Emotional Intelligence needs little introduction – it’s no secret that it’s critical to your success”. And yes on the one hand I have to agree, ever since Daniel Goleman published his ground breaking book on Emotional Intelligence in 1995, it has certainly become a hot topic in business and academia with countless articles published and books written on the subject.

Yet, as I sit here, I’m left to wonder if people have fully embraced EQ in their everyday lives? Or could we perhaps inject some vibrancy into this field by making it more accessible outside of business circles? I am specifically referring to the “future generation” of young men and women who would clearly benefit from EQ development, but unfortunately, most have not been exposed to it.

When I ask my young clients (mainly highschool and university students) if they have ever heard of EQ, I am surprised at how many have not. And it seems even the ones who have heard of emotionalintelligence are unsure of how to apply to their own lives.Of course, when I ask them if they think they might benefit from being more confident, improving their interpersonal relationships, or being able to better cope with stress and/or change …..The resounding answer is yes!

And research has shown that these are precisely the personal qualities and skills required for a successful transition to university from high school. Research has also shown that many students who don’t possess these skills when entering university or collage have a much higher dropout rate than their peers. So how can we help youth build these skills before embarking on higher education….?


One option to consider is encouraging high school students to take a gap year!At the very heart of a gap year is the idea that young men and women can choose to take some time away from the accepted, and often “expected” path carved out from kindergarten all the way through to university and opt for personal growth outside the classroom. A gap year is a year away from formal education, and a time dedicated to self discovery. It is a time for self reflection where individuals can gain self awareness and insight into what is important to them through travel, volunteering and other life experiences. And it is a time when they can build those fundamental EQ skills that everyone agrees is so critical for success. It has been said that life experience itself is the best classroom when it comes to learning and developing the emotional and social skills associated with emotional intelligence so why not urge students to take a journey of self discovery and build the very skills that will empower them in university and beyond.

Emotional Intelligence can help youth to

• Identify strengths and personal goals
• Adapt to environmental demands and pressures
• Increase and build self confidence
• Gain self awareness and insight
• Instill leadership qualities
• Foster emotional health
• Facilitate career development and career planning

It can also affect the ability to:

• make friends
• get along with a roommate
• decide how to spend free time
• manage money
• work well in groups
• deal with feeling down